Much as I usually enjoy the fact that my lifestyle enables me to have different selves – me at work, me at home and groups with the kids, and now me at writing group – some days it is very stressful. Today has been one of those days.
I have felt like a slightly cracked ping pong ball getting thwacked around…
I was an extra helper at Kids’ Club in the morning, which, though the science workshop was good, was not without incident.
The twenty minutes at home in which I was attempting eat lunch, iron and get changed into work clothes, and make sure I had some correct paperwork for a meeting, was also spent with a very sad, crying boy. I was glad that Dani was the adult I was leaving him with and that I knew he’d be comforted and calmed in the end.
But, at that moment, I felt like joining him in the wailing and fury.
My concentration was sketchy at the important meeting to which I raced. I have a lot of different priorities in my head at the moment – relating to all areas of life, and I feel like I can’t give anything my proper attention.
All the while my writing group has planted the seeds of several stories and I’m being constantly disturbed by the whispers of characters I want to write. (Not actual whispers, you understand, before anyone starts to worry about my mental health). I keep imagining a room, silent – in which I’m writing all the day through. Unlikely to happen…
The time of year is probably not helping with this. If I could just have a few hours of sunshine I think everything would feel less difficult and painful.