Wednesday, January 23, 2008


Much as I usually enjoy the fact that my lifestyle enables me to have different selves – me at work, me at home and groups with the kids, and now me at writing group – some days it is very stressful. Today has been one of those days.

I have felt like a slightly cracked ping pong ball getting thwacked around…

I was an extra helper at Kids’ Club in the morning, which, though the science workshop was good, was not without incident.

The twenty minutes at home in which I was attempting eat lunch, iron and get changed into work clothes, and make sure I had some correct paperwork for a meeting, was also spent with a very sad, crying boy. I was glad that Dani was the adult I was leaving him with and that I knew he’d be comforted and calmed in the end.

But, at that moment, I felt like joining him in the wailing and fury.

My concentration was sketchy at the important meeting to which I raced. I have a lot of different priorities in my head at the moment – relating to all areas of life, and I feel like I can’t give anything my proper attention.

All the while my writing group has planted the seeds of several stories and I’m being constantly disturbed by the whispers of characters I want to write. (Not actual whispers, you understand, before anyone starts to worry about my mental health). I keep imagining a room, silent – in which I’m writing all the day through. Unlikely to happen…

The time of year is probably not helping with this. If I could just have a few hours of sunshine I think everything would feel less difficult and painful.


a said...

Sounds a bit frazzly and poor L, hope life becomes a bit less stressful.
I can relate to the 'whispers' and the longing for an empty writing room - have had that feeling before, but not currently for some reason.

Nic said...

Can also relate. I manage an hour of silence most evenings when everyone else has gone to bed but actually what I'd really like is an hour to sit and watch people (loved your exercise of sitting eavesdropping in a coffee shop) without anyone wanting anything from me.

Hope you all get some less frantic time soon.

Liza said...

Poor L, is that why ye left group early?
He got me with those signs today! I was getting very cross at all the sinks being out of order before it was pointed out that they were more of Leos signs!

Jenny said...

I can completely identify with being pulled all ways and needing sun... I am counting on some higher power to intervene!
Hang in there, tomorrow is another day!

Gill said...

(((Allie))) I hope you all feel better soon xx